Oh, those poor Germans: not the country, not the people, but the language. To other Europeans and to those of us speaking English all over the world, German sounds as airy and charming as muddy boots on the porch.
Holy Roman Emperor Charles V coined it best. In the 1500s, when he ruled over most of Western Europe, he needed to be tetralingual. I could have written “quadrilingual” but that doesn’t sound any less pretentious. When asked how he kept all four languages straight in his mind, he famously replied: “I speak Spanish to my God, Italian to women I am wooing, French to men I am debating, and German to my horse.”
Even what the Germans have named their own country is hardly mellifluous: Deutschland. And our calling it “Germany” isn’t much better, what with its unpleasant “germ” resonance. But leave it to the French to upgrade the name and make it sound rather dulcet. They call their neighboring German country L’allemagne — “lah-mahn-yuh.” Lovely-sounding no?
The French named Germany for the ancient civilized tribes in what is today beautiful Alsace and parts of Switzerland: the Alamanni. And by doing so, they, despite never being big fans of anything German, still managed to name that country something enchanting to our ears.
When the French add an “a” to the beginning of “l’allemagne”— al’allemagne — the meaning is “in the style of the Germans.” Needless to say, this phrase is rarely used, given that the stylish French wouldn’t be caught dead borrowing haute couture, haute cuisine, or haute anything from their Teutonic neighbors.
Except when it comes to dancing. Having invented the intricate ballet, the elaborate minuet, and the naughty yet regimented can-can, the French love complex dance steps. And so they wanted to steal the style that Germans dancers invented of facing a potential partner diagonally to their left, joining left hands, and elegantly walking forward around each other.
Let me be so bold as to squarely suggest that you are familiar with this dance step “in the style of the Germans”: Allemande Left! Yes, what was once in France the most regimented form of urban dancing became here in the US our most popular form of country dancing: the square dance.
The French continued to steal dance steps from the Germans but gave no more credit “in the style of the Germans.” Even more popular with the French than the Allemande was the step where two dancing partners passed around one another back to back. The French for “back-to-back” is dos-a-dos, pronounced “doo-uh-doo.”
We Americans aren’t all that comfortable saying “doo-uh-doo” (yabba-dabba-doo is much more satisfying). So we changed the French pronunciation to the vibrant Do Si Do.
Both country music and square dancing have their roots deeply intertwined within the rural communities of our Appalachian Mountains. Square dance music has always been upbeat, utilizing an energetic caller giving commands rather than singers crooning love lyrics. Country music, on the other hand, seems to specialize in the earthy, almost Gothic travails of rural lovers. One of my favorite country music song titles is “I Dug Up Grandma To Get You This Here Ring.”
And nobody warbles about loneliness better than country music singers. What could be sadder or funnier than “Square Dancin’ By Myself” or “ Walk Out Backwards So I’ll Think You’re Comin’ In”?
But my number-one favorite on the country music Heartbreak Hit Parade has to be “That Bird Nest Out The Window Is The Wig You Used To Wear.”
Email Elliot at huffam@me.com or click here