In Plain Engel-ish
Your Monday Morning Essay, Punctual As Ever
I was entranced while visiting good friends yesterday, who exulted in introducing me to their beautiful seven-week-old great-granddaughter. Her name, Aubriella, was as lovely as she was (named after her grandfather, Aubrey). But my entrancement was nothing compared to Aubriella’s. There she was in her crib, completely fascinated by, of all things, her own hands. She was grabbing one hand with the other and opening and closing her fingers with a look of sheer wonder on her tiny face. Watching Aubriella made me realize that we spend our infancy and childhood finding so much to marvel at in our very...
Having A Ball
I am definitely a history buff, but not so buff in the field of mechanical engineering. Nonetheless, I was interested to learn that the invention of the metal screw, used since by countless carpenters and handymen in their craft, is credited to the Ancient Greek mathematician Archytas of Tarentum in the year 400 BC. There, for the first time, was a slender metal pin with a slotted head and a raised, spiral, curvy thread running around it. It was exactly 2,334 years later when Carl Hubbell, a standout pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, first perfected the screwball pitch in...
Thinking About Clinking
We all had to struggle in English class with “onomatopoeia,” probably the dumbest-sounding vocabulary word that ever threatened us on a spelling test. I do think, though, that quite a few of us actually considered that bizarre word to be rather cool because of its definition. It denotes a term that sounds, as exactly as possible, like what it is describing. Teachers always dragged out “sizzle” and “chirp” and “buzz” as classic examples. Me? I was more of an “achoo” and “slurp” kind of guy. But one onomatopoeic example I had never thought about until last week was “clink.” I...
Milking It For All It’s Worth
Growing up, I remember “milk” almost always meant “whole milk.” Yes, there was chocolate milk, but it never appeared at the Engel breakfast table, no matter how much I begged (“but Mom, Auntie Oxident says chocolate is good for my heart!”). And I’d heard about fat-free milk, but I never knew a kid who had ever tasted it. But now? A trip to my nearest supermarket dairy case revealed: whole milk, 2% reduced fat, 1% reduced fat, ½% reduced fat (!), skim, organic, lactose free, raw, good ol’ chocolate, strawberry, soy, oat, almond, and “of human kindness.” (OK, I made...
Unbecoming Conduct(or)
In my junior high physical education class, we had a guest speaker who was on the staff of our city’s AAA baseball team, the Indianapolis Indians. He had brought the team’s catcher with him, who gave us the lowdown on how a catcher signals the pitcher as to what he should throw next. By lowering his right hand between his thighs, where only the pitcher can see it, the catcher signals a fastball, curveball, slider, etc. by the number of fingers he displays. I couldn’t have been more excited by this speaker, and certainly not because I had much interest...