In Plain Engel-ish

What's What

What do I want to write about first in this essay? I don’t know what. Let me rephrase that. What I want to write about is: “je ne sais quois” (ZHEH-neh-say-kwah) — the fabulous French phrase meaning “I don’t know what”. Let me explain why a phrase that means “I don’t know what” is actually saying that you DO know what — but you just can't find the words. We all have relatives and friends whom we are crazy about, and we know exactly why. Perhaps it is their kindness, their sense of humor, their good deeds, or maybe their...

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I Wish They'd Been Called Cuties

My childhood certainly wasn’t a non-stop joyride. Yet countless joys were ridden and relished, especially during those years between about age six and eleven when we are old enough to express our joys excitedly but young enough not to worry that too much enthusiasm might be viewed by our peers as babyish, with no sense of detached cool. I still remember my first realization that, concerning my classmates, I was not the adorable paragon that I seemed to be within my family. We were all on the playground at Delaware Trails Elementary School when a couple of boys ran by...

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Where There's A "Will"

I enjoy idioms: phrases whose meaning is not obvious when taken at face value. For example, you could spend hours puzzling over why “raining cats and dogs” means “raining heavily”, but in hopes of ever figuring it out, you’d still be all wet. Likewise, don’t waste your time on the famous gun-related idiom — just give up and “bite the bullet”.  I suppose I should blame one of my least favorite idioms on the Greeks. Well, not the entire population, just those living in Corinth. And only those living there 2,000 years ago, when Saint Paul came a-calling. For it...

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Here's The Skinny

From our earliest civilizations until around 1850, people who wished to swim would find a secluded place at the edge of a natural body of water, like an ocean, lake, or river, and enjoy themselves. Naked. They didn’t strip down and swim in their underwear, as so many later bathers did. Before the mid-nineteenth century,  underclothes were so heavy, voluminous, and incredibly expensive to clean that a romp in the water was not worth the soggy consequences of the outfit being unable to be worn home or, worse, often ruined beyond repair. It was not until the early twentieth century...

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Love Me Forever

LOVE ME FOREVER Greenland has been in our news more than ever before. But it’s been political news, and Professor Engel is an English professor, not one of political science. Also, Professor Engel is not a fool. He would not be overtly political in his essays, in case they would alienate even one delightful reader. I am just happy all of us agree on the one most important point: that we can’t wait to hear what I have to say every other Monday. I know I can’t.  So, Professor E, get back to Greenland: now. The Greenland I mention here concerns...

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