In Plain Engel-ish

I am definitely a history buff, but not so buff in the field of mechanical engineering. Nonetheless, I was interested to learn that the invention of the metal screw, used since by countless carpenters and handymen in their craft, is credited to the Ancient Greek mathematician Archytas of Tarentum in the year 400 BC. There, for the first time, was a slender metal pin with a slotted head and a raised, spiral, curvy thread running around it. It was exactly 2,334 years later when Carl Hubbell, a standout pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, first perfected the screwball pitch in...

 We all had to struggle in English class with “onomatopoeia,” probably the dumbest-sounding vocabulary word that ever threatened us on a spelling test. I do think, though, that quite a few of us actually considered that bizarre word to be rather cool because of its definition. It denotes a term that sounds, as exactly as possible, like what it is describing. Teachers always dragged out “sizzle” and “chirp” and “buzz” as classic examples. Me? I was more of an “achoo” and “slurp” kind of guy.  But one onomatopoeic example I had never thought about until last week was “clink.” I...

Growing up, I remember “milk” almost always meant “whole milk.” Yes, there was chocolate milk, but it never appeared at the Engel breakfast table, no matter how much I begged (“but Mom, Auntie Oxident says chocolate is good for my heart!”). And I’d heard about fat-free milk, but I never knew a kid who had ever tasted it.  But now? A trip to my nearest supermarket dairy case revealed: whole milk, 2% reduced fat, 1% reduced fat, ½% reduced fat (!), skim, organic, lactose free, raw, good ol’ chocolate, strawberry, soy, oat, almond, and “of human kindness.” (OK, I made...

In my junior high physical education class, we had a guest speaker who was on the staff of our city’s AAA baseball team, the Indianapolis Indians. He had brought the team’s catcher with him, who gave us the lowdown on how a catcher signals the pitcher as to what he should throw next. By lowering his right hand between his thighs, where only the pitcher can see it, the catcher signals a fastball, curveball, slider, etc. by the number of fingers he displays. I couldn’t have been more excited by this speaker, and certainly not because I had much interest...

I am sure I knew the definition of “fast” long before I started kindergarten, but as a child I soon decided that its meaning was the exact opposite of “speedy.” The reason for that has to do with my family’s faith, my annoying older sister, and my competitive nature.  My sister is three years older, and so, as a kid, I was an annoying “Me-Too”-er: whatever Gloria could do, I absolutely had to do too. When she first became a teenager, she told my parents that she was old enough to observe the twenty-four hour fast during our holiest holiday,...