In Plain Engel-ish

I remember as a kid how awful it was to sit in the waiting room of my pediatric dentist’s office, dreading my teeth cleaning or — oh, SO much worse! — a cavity filling. Dr. Howard tried to jolly the place up by having children’s magazines scattered about for his patients to glance through until being ushered into the Room Of Doom. Yeah, like I was going to be distracted by reading. But, actually, one time I was. He had a PEN PAL magazine on an end table, with listings of boys and girls all over the country who wanted...

As I mentioned in my January 15 essay, you are now reading the 100th composition I have written since starting this splendid journey in March of 2020. And I love that this is Number 100 so I can remind you that the derivation of our word “hundred” actually comes from its association with Huns, those brutal tribes who descended upon Europeans in great numbers and so gave their name to all large three-figure numerals. Please tell me that you knew my last sentence was what the Brits call “utter rubbish” and what we (their vulgar American cousins) have named for...

How many of our fondest early childhood memories are tied to sweets? It seems to me that all my kindergarten friends loved helping in their kitchens at home with making desserts — especially cookies, since they could go from warm oven to warm mouth so quickly, needing much less irksome cooling time than cakes or pies. I vividly remember one rainy day when Mom and I were in the kitchen in 1953, making her special sour cream cookies. Luckily, my big sister was in elementary school and wouldn’t be home until later. Not only was she sibling competition and always...

I’m not happy that this essay falls on New Year’s Day. Since I’ve been writing these musings (or a-musings when I get lucky) since 2020, I’ve already covered the holiday three times before. Please do not feel bad if you can’t remember what I said — I, too, don’t have a clue. I thought about rereading those essays and then taking a new angle for this one, but looking over something I’ve already written, for the sake of revising it, has all the allure of being handed a dead body and being told, “Here, perk it up a little.” Being...

I remember thinking years ago that it seemed almost too good to be true that Christians and Jews each have a wonderful holiday in December. Both celebrations brighten up the darkest days of the year with beautiful lights, and both brighten our spirits with the sharing of gifts, especially for the children. Even the first two letters of the holiday are identical — “CH.” Perhaps like most everything else in life, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Let’s start with that similar opening “Ch.” In the word “Christmas”, it is pronounced like “K”.” And, if...